In a relationship, is it okay to go through your bf's things??? I would like to believe that in a perfect world you wouldn't feel compelled to snoop around in your bf's shit. Does there come a time in your relationship where snooping is acceptable? When assumably there are no more secrets. If you are in a relationship do you still maintain your constitutionally protected right of privacy? I was left 9 days in my bf's apartment and I didn't snoop around. If he trusts me enough to leave me there for 9 whole days do I really think he's going to be stupid enough leave some detrimental shit behind?? If you find something, does that fact that found it in the drawer underneath his t-shirts stuffed in an envelope wrapped in some foil make any difference?? Is the determining factor what you found? I like my privacy and don't like to feel like I can't have a secret if I want to. What about the cell phone?? Is it okay to check his received and dialed calls? texts? picture mail?? Does the same apply for blackberry's which is essentially email?? In relationships, must your skeletons all be revealed??
I remember a time when I was at my bf's house. He lived with his mom (this was 10 years ago folks). I was left at his house while him and his mom went to the store. Not more than 3 minutes after they left I headed to his room straight to the closet. I knew I didn't have much time so I figured I might as well get in and get out quick. I was knee deep in his box of pictures and I look up to find him and his mother staring at me in disbelief. I was mortified. There was no explanation. I simply told him I wanted to look through his pictures. He was upset and rightfully so. They had just come back because she forgot something and were planning on leaving me there again. I was like no way jose!! He didn't want me to leave but I couldn't stand the thought of his mother thinking that I was a sneaky little girl. I left. That was not the first or last time I have been through a bf's shit. I wonder once I'm married do the circumstances change. Can you have secrets if you're married?? Doesn't seem right to keep secrets yet it feels all wrong to be one open book. I guess that's why people, men in particular, are so afraid of marriage. It almost feels like you lose yourself in the process. Is what you do always his business?? I wonder.....
So folks, tell me about a time when you got caught snooping around....
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I've never gotten caught...I usually exposed myself when I was too heated to keep the secret that I found and would immediately go nuts asking, "WTF is this sh*t!?" lol! There was this one instance though that I tried to get crafty and figure out my ex's password to his celly and I only tried a mere handful of combos before I realized I wouldn't be guessing this one. A week or so passed and my dude was asking me (real random-like), "Would you ever check a dude's phone?" OF COURSE, I say, "Neverrrrrr!" He then proceeds to tell me that he called to check his voicemail a week or so ago and the automated voice tells him that, "Your voice mailbox has had 1012 failed password attempts." Ok, not that many...but it was still an embarassing number, aaaand I was CAUGHT. Ever seen them commercials? "Ever just want to get away?" YESSSS!
I don't know if it is OK to go through your bf's things and theoretically, you should trust your man enough to not to, but I can't help it! I go through everything, and try to check the phone, email, anything I can. I have never gotten caught but I always bust myself out by revealing the evidence I found. I am the nosiest and can't keep shit to myself.
I am a firm believer in what I don't know can't hurt me. I am single until married. This means that yes, I have a man, but I am still available for dinner and perhaps interact with men in a flirtatious manner. I do not snoop because I do not see the logic in it. If I were to worry about what my man was doing behind my back, I'd go crazy. If it's in my man's nature to cheat, then he will do it. If he knows that I am a "Nosey Rosey" then he will just be more conniving about his actions. If your man wants to stick his penis in another woman's
va-jay-jay, he will. I have been the victim of a "Nosey Rosey" on two occasions. And let's just say I was not elated. One ex-boyfriend checked my voicemail because I didn't have a password lock on my cell phone. A bitch just wanted to be able to hit her vm button without having to type in all kinds of shit! Anyway the ninja heard a voicemail from this dude who I had been ignoring. He was basically begging me to call him back. My man at the time found such satisfaction in this that he accidentally brought it up...reavealing his vaginal like nature and tactic of checking my VM. We are no longer together. The tender who I was dating before my most recent Boo looked through my text messages. And well he found some pretty wrong things. All innocent, but really no way to explain some of the things I was sending via text message to boys. He broke into my house, stole my purse, wallet, and car. I had to get a restraining order on his crazy ass. So the moral of the story is...some of these ninjas are bitches too! No, that's not completely right. The intended moral of the story is when you go looking for stuff, you are bound to find something that you don't like. If you are that caught up into what your man is doing behind your back, then perhaps he's not the man for you!
you need to up date this site!
Sorry folks was going thru some shit...coming shortly to a computer near you!!
ha ha ha I'm the nosiest person I know.. i've learned how to keep the secrets until the perfect time..... I look through everything read everything...cell phone text msgs.. pics... everything.. I've seen it all,, mostof it is never worth mentioning and the one that is comes to light anyway sooner or later you just know how to conduct yourself in the meantime..... women best to learn how to see things and forget about them until the time is right... the reward is extra satisfying....
Who ever said What you dont know wont hurt you. Should be publicly executed? In a relatioship the people only expose there good sides. Hell when I date I look like Mother Treasa. The fact that a man may be on the DOWN LOW.... he may be ABUSIVE.... may be a RAPIST..... SEX OFFENDER..... But it wont hurt me.. A little snooping does not hurt if they truly have nothing to hide. Call me inch high private eye. Im going to know everthing I need to know or can possibly find out about a individual before I give 30% into the relationship. Ladies SNOOP SNOOP SNOOP!!!! Just dont go to far. You have the right to know and to protecy yourselves Emotionally, Physically, Financially. Remember self preservation!!!!
My girlfriend left her cell phone at home accidentally two weeks ago, and I heard it beep with a new text message. For no real reason I can remember (just idle curiosity) I picked it up and started thumbing through her text messages. I found a series of them from a guy she goes to school with. They were like "I want you," "I want to talk to you," and shit like that. I didn't say anything about it, and I told myself to forget it, but I checked her phone 4 more times after that, including today, when I got caught. Since the cat's out of the bag, I asked her who the guy was, and she told me he wrote her those things when he was drunk, and nothing bad was meant by them, etc. But the underlying factor is that I destroyed her trust and while I love this girl and I never want to lose her, the relationship is probably going to end sometime soon because of this. So my humble advice is not to snoop because you never know what you will find, and there is really no good way to confront someone about something you learned by snooping through their private things. It will only make you crazy thinking about it until one day you slip up, like I did, and your relationship at the very least will be permanently damaged, and at the most will come to an untimely end.
I found out my b/f was snooping through my texts because he blatantly left tracks. My ex, whom I have no feelings for whatsoever, sent me a text saying he missed me. We hadn't talked in some time and we have remained pretty good friends. Well when the b/f went through my phone he saw the texts and the fact that he called my ex while I was asleep, and tried to deny it. At this point I'm not sure what to do. I feel violated and like I am not trusted. At the same time I understand his argument, of why am I talking to my ex. I just didn't tell him because there is nothing to look into and he gets incredibly jealous. Am I wrong for neglecting to mention we talk every once in awhile, when it is harmless. My dilemma is that I love my boyfriend, he is the only guy I want to be with. I wouldn't even give another guy the time of day. I can only imagine the things going through his head right now, because if I had been presented with a text I'd be thinking all kinds of crazy thoughts, until he explained the situation. I think nothing good comes from snooping. Everyone has their weird little things that they don't like to share with anyone else. I wouldn't want anyone reading all my word docs bitching about life, those are my personal rantings. And if your worried your boyfriend or girlfriend is going to cheat, then why are you with them. Maybe I just answered my own question, because without trust you don't have anything at all.
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