Getting it right the FIRST TIME...

OMG guys, its been too long! I wish I had an explanation for why I've been away so long but I don't...just know that I am sorry!

Today I'd like to discuss the concept of getting it right the first time. By this I mean ending up with someone who recognized EARLY on that you were THE ONE and acted accordingly, as opposed to dealing with someone, breaking up, dating others, getting back together, breaking up, dating others, etc. etc. etc.! I think it's something to be said about GETTING IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME. I've always said that once you have been with someone too long you begin to lose the IT factor in the relationship and the baggage from the relationship will inevitably cause tension at some point along the way. Let me explain by example.

Several months ago, I met a man during a particularly rough period in my life. He was extremely attractive, intelligent, and fun and sort of an eerie reminder of the EX(that's another story)! In any event, as I do on most occasions when I really like someone, I dove in head first. We instantly became inseparable. I met his son, his mom, aunties, etc. He met my peeps too! And all this in 2 months. BUT, and its a BIG BUT, I was so blinded by my girlish optimism and growing need to be with someone I didn't see (until much too late) that he was not a nice person and was actually taking FULL advantage of me. Now if you know me at all you know that I am a caterer! Everything Beyonce (and her cronies) said in the song I do it ALL and MORE. He recognized this early on and used me accordingly. I was in between jobs at the time and had a lot of free time on my hands. So every day it was something new...Baby can you pick me and K up some dinner...Baby can you go to Cheesecake factory on your way here and pick me up some cheesecake...Baby can you come drive me to the Valley for this basketball tournament...Baby can you cook a couple servings of chicken for me for the rest of the week...Baby can you help me pull up my pants because old out of shape ass messed up my back and can't bend over...Baby can you take me to therapy...you get the picture! And it was always, YES YES YES I CAN! I think Obama might have gotten his slogan from ME! But you know I really don't mind these things when I am in a relationship. Now whether we were in a relationship or not is another interesting question but once you start having sex A RELATIONSHIP OF SOME SORT evolves. So long story short, this went on for about 2 months and then he had an epiphany and told me one day that he was headed down the wrong path and wanted to be better and was looking toward marriage and just needed some time alone. That was fine with me because at the end of the day the D was not so good so I wasn't pressed. That is also an interesting dynamic because sex sometimes is relative and I find it less important when there are a lot of other good things going on (but make no mistake the sex itself wasn't that good (smenis issues) but this brother sucked toes AND SUCH so I could deal, at least temporarily). AGAIN remember that I was devastated at this time by the EX so the "good things" I just referred to were not really GOOD but I didn't know it at the time. Which brings us to the topic at hand...NOW this brother is falling over himself trying to get it back to where it was and unfortunately he is SHIT OUT OF LUCK! When he initially made his way back on the scene I must admit I was entertained. This ninja went from one extreme to the next. I have said some awful things to him (all except you have a smenis) and he still keeps coming back for more. I've told him things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy and yet he is undeterred. I am so confused! Now ALL OF A SUDDEN he realizes how GREAT I AM and how he was mistaken and how he had trust issues and blah blah blah! He is more than willing to open doors, pay for things, accompany me places, massage my ****, and actually do just about WHATEVER I say do. But I don't feel compelled to give him another chance. It burns me up thinking about how he consciously took advantage of me and I don't think I can forget that fact. But its funny because I AM a forgiver but I don't feel the need to forgive him. I just feel like he had the opportunity to have ALL OF ME and he didn't want it and now its too damn late. I find it hard to believe that he went from thinking one way about me and 6 months later ALL THAT has changed and now he sees me as WIFEY!! No way Jose! I want my habibi to tell the story about how when he first saw me he KNEW I was the ONE. It is without issue that maybe things didn't happen at the moment HE KNEW but what I don't want is for my hubby to have had treated MOMMIE like shit at some point and then MOMMIE's stupid ass took him back and now we live happily ever after??!! NOT! The MAN I want needs not to have the gift of hindsight but rather is in such a place as to be able to see the GOOD in ME and recognize that I will make an EXCELLENT WIFEY and ANY MAN who is lucky enough to call me their MRS. will surely enjoy years and years of unconditional LOVE, my UNWAVERING LOVE AND SUPPORT and will NEVER for a second DOUBT my intentions or my HEART!

So this is just how I feel about the LOSERS who always want to come back around after they've FUNKED you over and expect you to FORGIVE AND FORGET! Blow it up your ASS fellas! I think so many times women sell themselves short! Ladies we don't have to settle. Men, you either! Maybe not getting it right the first time should alert us to the possibility that IT AIN'T RIGHT so don't waste your time trying to make something work which AIN'T EVEN WORTH IT!

Please share!