The truth about cats and dogs!

So I wanted to speak briefly on the idea of fellatio and cunnilingus in 2007; have you improved, remained the same, or stopped doing it altogether! Is it okay to not have perfected your technique at...let's say 30?!?! Are you still grossed out by the thought of it! Do you wish you could take a class in it?!?! Is it hindering your ability to have good sex?!?!?! Are you too afraid to even talk about it?!?!?!

Let's be realistic here, if you're 25 or better, the reality is you've done it and probably have a lot more of doing it ahead of you. If you're still grossed out by the thought of it I suggest you order a few pornos online (cause I know you're not brave enough to rent one at the video store) and pay very close attention to what's going on. You are not my kinda girl/guy so I propose you come back to me when you've learned a thing or two!

Moving on....WHAT!!

Now it is my sincere belief that with each experience you should learn something to take with you on your journey through life, up to and including figuring out how to make your lover scream your name when giving him/her oral pleasure.

Females, you should learn (1) which of his other areas to manipulate while you are sucking him up, (2) how deep can you take it, (3) how wet can you keep it, (4) humming on it is well taken, (5) talking to it makes it talk back, and (6) looking good while you're doing it is an added bonus. Every man loves good brain and I ain't talking about book smarts. Practice makes perfect so ladies I suggest whichever man you are with right now (choose 1 please biatches!!) and go to work. Be totally uninhibited. Move it up down sideways and diagonal. Slap it flip it rub it down...learn the magic tricks...go for it anywhere anytime anyhow...and if you have a small mouth I propose extracting your back molars so you can get a more few inches ("others" ya'll don't have to worry about this, hehe). Not only will your present boo LOVE you to death but you will get the practice you need to successfully sustain a marriage.

Men, you need to learn, (1) WHICH area needs to be stimulated (and I can tell you it is not the lips), (2) how to avoid missing the boat ENTIRELY, (3) if you're not an expert it will take longer than a minute, (4) we DON'T appreciate the EFFORT, (5) due diligence is well taken, and (6) sometimes we want to be done when you're done! Again, practice makes perfect fellas so keep at it and at some point you'll get it right. Its not as easy as it looks, it takes patience, resourcefulness and a little bit of love. I will say that I've had somebody down there well over 30 minutes without incident. It just got to the point where I said, Fuck it, get up!! I've also had someone that purported NOT to do it, tried it very rarely and was a sheer waste of my time. But hey, what can you do!!!

Bottom line, perfect your technique, seek advice, don't stop trying, and don't get complacent! I add to my THINGS TO DO LIST, see how long I can hold my breathe!!