2 pump chump

So I am sitting here horny thinking about past experiences and it dawned on me that I have yet to touch on the issue of the "2 pump chump" also known as, minute man, quicker dicker, fast Jack, in-n-out, speedy weenie, hasty hotdog, rapid rover...you get the point.

Now I've never made an issue over this (to his face) but I find it quite troubling. It is well understood that it takes longer for a woman to get aroused than for most men...this is a given. And if you have gotten your rocks off in less than five minutes I can assure you there is no way you satisfied your woman. So what do you do?? Men: if you know that you came a little too quick I think you should properly addressed the situation. Getting up and going to the bathroom as if you've just accomplished something is NOT it. Little do you know I'm snickering behind your back waiting for the first opportunity to text my girl. And believe you'll never touch this again...how selfish of you! You need to be a man and step to the plate and admit your misgivings and assure us you will correct your wrongs momentarily. You can take a nap, a shower, watch a porno, take a viagra, anything you gotta do to get that bad boy back up but don't ever let me go to sleep after 2 pumps...CHUMP!! I mean what the fuck am I suppose to do with that? The only thing you've done at that point was wake her up and now you want her to go back to sleep without being fed? Come the fuck on...not fair. We understand "it happens" but just because shit happens don't make it right. Let me reiterate...correct your wrongs homeboy. Some advice, if you eat it in the beginning we're less likely to care when, where, why, or how you finish.

I tell you about a guy I once knew. It was actually an EX who happened to be at the right place at the right time. It had been a long while since we had first done the do. I didn't remember too much about it only that he wasn't real sensitive to my needs but I didn't hold that against him. He always spoke very highly of his D which is typically suspect to begin with. No sooner than we laid down did I find him finish and up and headed to the shower as if his actions warranted the need for refreshment. I was literally shocked and confused and because there was no love it took everything in me to not say something. I mean seriously, what am I suppose to do with that? I surely thought he was coming back for round 2, shit maybe even round 3 because round 1 didn't really exist in my mind. Sadly enough, he was done and yes I was done. I could barely stand to look at him so I got dressed and faked a heart attack. Would rather sit in the hospital than on his couch cause somebody was gonna die and it wasn't gonna be me. WTF!